I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
