Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
