I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
