Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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