everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
