I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
