i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
