what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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