Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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