First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
