who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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