This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
