Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
