I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
