Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize