I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
