haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
