Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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