i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
