That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
