Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
