used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
