and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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