so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
