When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
