the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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