fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
