I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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