Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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