No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize