At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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