When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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