Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
