oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
