Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
