Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
