Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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