Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
