Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
A+ Viking dick
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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