i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
