I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize