i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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