I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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