We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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