Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
