butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
