if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
