OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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