did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
