your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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