just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize