I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
