i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
