I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
