today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
