For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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