You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
