the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
of course. lets lasso hookers.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize