So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
