Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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