idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
