Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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