Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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