life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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