i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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