3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize