The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
