mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
