I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
