i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
