So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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