dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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