She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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